Discovering my superpower

Very often what we perceive as our darkest shadows and deepest struggles are in fact our superpowers. Some people go lifetimes trying to fit in - trying to be like everyone else. They don't live their truth out of fear of being dismissed and excluded from the tribe. And to be fair, this is a natural brain response to fear, as the purpose of fear is to promote survival, and thousands of years ago being dismissed from the tribe would most likely have had fatal consequenses. But in the year of 2025 you can easily find a new, more fitting tribe. Sometimes it's as easy as the click of a button.

Growing up I was first rather quiet. I have a video of my maternal grandmother carrying me on her hip and uttering the words 'she's a quiet one, this one - it's as if she's just taking it all in'. I was probably 3 or 4 years old at the time. Not long after that video was shot I became more outwardly emotional. If you ask my older sister she would tell you I cried all the time. In fact, this was something I was often criticised for in familiar settings - being whiny, clingy and crying. Being highly dependent of the grown-ups in my life (which, considering what was going on in my life at the time, really wasn't very strange).

About 5 years later, following an enormous and in may ways very traumatic life shift, I started rebelling - my outwardly emotional character added new layers. Big emotions, lots of tears and anger. I entered my few friendships all in and was magnetically attracted to those who struggled emotionally, which was seen as indescribably uncool. I prefered the deep conversations (I still do) - and was rubish at banter (still am).

In my early twenties I recall a fellow teacher's college student getting frustrated with me and uttering words such as 'everything doesn't always have to be about feelings!'. Except it did. For me.

Generally speaking this was the message I got from several family members and peers; 'You are too sensitive - you are too emotional - you are too much'.

As with most things that are repeated (we learn by repetition), these words became my inner dialogue. I was severely ashamed of this part of myself. Being too sensitive. In fact, I was so ashamed of it and so used to only listening to criticism that I completely overheard the opposite side of the jury saying things such as 'I love talking to you - I really feel like you see me', 'thank you for holding space, I needed that' or 'gosh, I feel so much lighter now that I've spoken to you'. All I took in was the negative and so I tried to dim the emotional, deep side of myself while around people I could sense were unable to deal with it (this is something I'm continuously working on). Instead I got it out through art. I drew, I painted, I sang, I danced - anything that gave me relief. Art and creativity became my saviour.

I recall an evening in Brazil in my early thirties, while working in large scaled events during the World Cup, where I was having a very rare break with a new colleague. The conversation got deep and eventually my colleague looked at me and said 'I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but what on earch are you doing in this industry? Why aren't you out there using this incredible ability to go deep with people?' I have never forgotten this remark, bacause it hit home. Trouble was, the place I spent most of my developing years in had taught me that displaying emotions - especially the deeper ones - was not cool. And I wanted to be one of the cool kids.

Slowly, with time, I started chosing differently. I started chosing in favour of my emotions and of my sense that the therapeutic field was something I should explore. I stuck with people who liked me for who I was. I realised that those who got triggered by my depth were reacting to challenges within - it had nothing to do with me. I started owning who I always was. I started putting my foot down and carved a path that has lead me to where I am today. I slowly turned my shadow into my superpower. It wasn't always easy. In fact, it still comes with it's challenges. But boy was it worth it.

Dear reader, there has never been a better time to step into who you are. To own every part of your being and do exactly what you feel called to do. So this is the part where I ask you; What whispers inside you? Which part of yourself/your being in this world do you feel ashamed of? Could this part be connected to your superpower?